Faith to be Healed and a Senior Recital

I remember having this fantasy at age 9 or so about playing the piano in a huge concert hall when I was grown up, wearing a fancy green ball gown and wearing my long hair up in a crown of braids.  Some prince would see me playing from far away and we would get married....  I have given up on that fantasy since most of my high school career I planned on going into violin professionally and was never very self confident in my appearance in a ball gown.  and, who wants to marry a prince?!

Well, it's over.  It wasn't like my first fantasy in any way--the concert hall was considerably smaller, no elaborate European architecture, no green pouffy dress, no long hair, no braids... no proposals--but it happened.  It's strange not feeling relieved, sad or happy now that it's over.  The whole thing was just a big miracle.  

I have not been sick one day this whole semester or thanksgiving break.  Until this Monday, when my throat completely closed off.  The virus moved to my sinuses quickly and then to my head, giving me a low-grade fever Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  Apart from my dress rehearsal on Monday, I did not have any energy or strength to practice.  I forced myself to put in at least a half hour per day (remember this is compared to the usual 4 hours per day... 17% of my usual).

As soon as it came on, I began praying with all my might, doing good scripture study and trying to sleep.     but it didn't just float away.  I realized that the spiritual gift of having 'faith to be healed' was not a natural gift to me as it is perhaps to my little brother, Abraham.  After a particularly hard day at school, the fever had risen and taken me to the point of tears.  I realized that I would like a priesthood blessing but I felt I couldn't ask for one until my faith was strengthened.  

I read in Preach my Gospel that Faith was trust in the Lord (and the Atonement) as well as a confidence in his love for me.  If in nothing else, I could full heartedly testify to my Father in Heaven that I had this kind of faith.  I asked Him to increase it.  I had sisters and brothers praying for me, parents, aunts & uncles, and surely a few friends to add to my faith.  

The blessing did not pronounce immediate healing, but an assurance of a peace and comfort and the strength to perform.  That was all I needed.  I awoke yesterday feeling completely healed.  I jumped up and told Camille it was a miracle.  although I could feel my head still pounding, my throat and nose were clear.  I could smell.  and sing!  after a few hours at school (and turning in a final), my temperature was rising, and my strength was waning again.  I rested as well as I could until it was time to run up to perform.  

My performance was in no way my best, but the audience was packed.  I realized that they were not grading me, critiquing me, or judging me in any way.  All of them loved me and hoped for the best for me.  They each cared about me as a person--which meant it wouldn't matter whether or not I hit any notes at all.  This comfort, my increased faith, (ibuprofen fever reducer!), and adrenaline gave me strength enough to play through everything.  

As the applause died away after my closing piece, Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody, I walked off stage and felt the weak state of my body want to collapse.  I then realized how blessed I was.  I keep thanking God.  I then took more medication before singing in the next concert.  I felt abundant power and spirit enter me as I testified and sang to the King of Kings, my Savior, Mary's babe, He in whose name all oppression shall cease.   Let all within us praise His Holy Name.  Oh fallen, Oh fearful, Oh friendless world, to you a Savior is born.  Christ is the Lord.  my healer.  His Pow'r and Glory evermore proclaim!  Hallelujah.