Overwhelmed

I'd already sung several songs with BYU Singers and even played on the 10 ft Fazioli that BYU's trying out but I had not been nervous beforehand. For a moment, I was alone in a forgotten corridor of the H-FAC and said another prayer... Father, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this honor. but please help me. Concert Choir was filing off stage, and I could hear the risers creaking with Women's Chorus members milling into place. It seemed like forever until the creaking and clapping stopped and it was my turn to walk on. First the accompanist, then me, then Jean Applonie. I bowed with my mentor and then stepped onto the podium.

Being in the middle of the de Jong concert hall stage was not intimidating whatsoever, but I could never have been prepared for what I saw next. I looked up and saw 185 beautiful women, shining... their sparkly tops, their bright faces, their eyes full of anticipation for their part of the concert and their minds focused on each reminder... bright red smiles of people I love. and so I raised my hands. Overwhelmed.

I was full of energy, hopefully channeling it into my conducting and to the girls I work with. Elbows up a little farther. look into their faces-- JOY! then slow down, flexible wrist. the meaning of the piece. and more joy. and it was over. I just looked at them.

I must have smiled (how could I not?) but forgot completely what I was supposed to do for a moment. The hall was full of applause, so I stepped down from my pedestal and motioned a hand to recognize the beautiful singers and bowed. They are glorious.

The last number of the concert was sung with all of the combined choirs and I was lucky enough to accompany them 'Of the Father's Love Begotten.' Dr. Staheli always motions for me to stand before he even turns around (perhaps it makes up for so many invisible accompanists) and when he does, it is so easy to smile at the audience. especially after knowing and loving one more choir.