Proud to be American. European.

While turning towards whatever has the most red white and blue in the room, we chanted the pledge of allegiance, to the flag of the United States of America for 7 years when we lived in Europe.  I was definitely American, from America, with parents from America, in the American section of the school, and speaking American at home.

It wasn't until we moved to America that I no longer felt American.  Leaving Europe / coming to America was hard on all of us.  I remember walking around town one last time, lingering at church for the last time, riding my bike around the streets one last time, walking through every room in the house one last time, and staring up at such a deep blue clear sky the day I left my heart there and flew away.  I have returned to Europe about once a year since then, and each time that I leave, I feel that familiar pang in my heart.

The difference is that the world here (in Europe) is generally built around centuries of history-- a history without modern conveniences. Their whole lives don't circulate completely around technology.  Streets were built for walking and riding -- not always planned for cars (this is why their cars are normal sized-- tiny to Americans!).  Theaters and opera houses were their primary form of entertainment.  Their lives centered around their church services and their outdoor market.  Because of this, large squares/plaza/platz/places, parks, churches, and opera houses are at the heart of towns.  The field workers in the feudal systems lived on the outskirts of each town, allowing beautiful fields to frame each town even nowadays.  Every community was self-sufficient enough to have their own baker for bread everyday, fisherman, butcher... Most often, with stores taking only the bottom floor of the living quarters.  The stores fit in around their lives. Oh, I could probably go on for some time-- do you get the point?  Somehow, this life seems more simple.

Most of the US was really shaped after the industrial revolution, with efficiency in mind.  Land zoned for housing is completely apart from commercial land which is completely apart from farming land.  Full blocks of commercial buildings are points of interests and destinations instead of a part of life.  So much of the layout of the land is for the sake of efficiency.  It costs so much to erect a performance center in specific zoning from scratch, that making ends meet seems more difficult.  Everyone is trying to get something bigger and better, faster and more immediate, more convenient, and prove themselves-- as if they have something to make up for! The cars, the roads, the buildings, the houses, the portion sizes (!), the TVs, the cities, and metropolises... Sometimes these things are so overwhelming and overstimulating.  Of course I am speaking generally.

But generally, you do shop once at a super market for food to last several weeks.  Because of this, you need a larger fridge.  We drive everywhere (Palo Alto excluded), so destination shopping is no problem, we only have to carry bags to our cars.  Once you hit farming fields, they seem to go on and on, assembly-line-like, and crops even start looking all the same. Bigger, better, better tasting, so we don't need much more variety.  We have big fridges, washers and dryers, stores, AC units... and it's quite comfortable.

So many in our culture would opt for the efficiency, the grand scale, the driving everywhere.  But so much of me longs for the former, the l'Etang la Ville, the public transportation, simple, smaller life.  Sigh.  Of course I'm very proud to be an American.  But I'm always struggling with this duality.  And I'll probably go back and forth my whole life.

... so incase you happen to be a suitor... you may or may not need to reconsider ;)

bicyclettes & horloges

 

Yes, those are ALL bikes.  Welcome to Berlin! It's just like when we lived in Bergen op Zoom--grandmothers in dresses with baskets full of groceries on their bicycles. But what has surprised me has been the bicycles on the S & U bahn train lines.  The combination of public and personal transportation is everywhere here!  Pretty smart if you ask me.  There was not a day when I did not wish that I had a bike to get around with.  

All in all, I was quite impressed with the public transportation.  My weekpass was under 30 Euros and I was constantly in the busses, the underground train and the overground train.  What I did forget was the hour + that it takes to get everywhere.  TIME! 

Speaking of time, the German people seem to be very organized and exact.  All of our players were early for rehearsal, and apparently if you might let them off a few minutes early one day, they would think it an insult.  As a culture generally, they do like to work.  for their allotted time.   But their arms are open wide when they want to have some fun.

My host mom mentioned that when tehy moved to Munich for three years, they brought their grandfather clock.  Clocks are also important to this culture, they are everywhere! On buildings, in stations, as decoratie works of art... and I love it.  What is it about two hands spinning that is very lovely? 

Enter Berliner Symphoniker

We moved to Grazer Platz 2 once we were ready for the orchestra to come join us: a beautiful hall with high ceilings, stained glass windows letting in floods of light on both of the sides, carpet, and a sort of chapel & crucifixion statue off to the side.

The magic of such grand music played by such talented players in such a beautiful environment was overwhelming to me.  Maestro Gessi must have sensed this on my face, and explained to me how this hall was used for international radio during the Cold war, and was also important during WWII.

 The chamber orchestra, made up of the principle strings and wind section in the Berliner Symphoniker, have joined us.  I still can't even believe it.  They are incredible players, human beings, diligent rehearsal technicians...  Their rehearsal ethic was a joy to watch and work with.  Wow.

Our program with them is

Mozart Symphony no. 40 KV 550
Schubert Symphony no. 5 D 485 and
Respighi Antiche Deanze ed Arie -- Suite No. 3

I can't write fast enough to keep track of everything that I'm learning during the masterclass.  The wand lessons might be over, but there is still so much that I am learning!  Many reminders, many new things that I need to post in my conducting blog before I forget them All of the music that we are working on is from the Viennese  tradition, where the music is so delicate, aristocratic, and grand.  "The Viennese live, and let others live.  They are always inviting & appreciative."

At my first 'competition' playing the violin in America when we moved back at age 12, the judge told me that he really enjoyed my interpretation of Bach.  Then he started to talk me into getting a baroque violin, a baroque bow, and focusing solely on Baroque music... 

well that didn't happen.  But what is wonderful about this world is that through studying new cultures, new places, understanding new points of view and new ways of life, you better understand the composers with those backgrounds.  Studying German music in Germany is worth much more than the tuition that I paid to do this program.  I feel very lucky.

Respite

Most days here have been pretty overcast, but one of my days here when I happened to spend the whole day out of doors the sun was beating down all afternoon.  I did indulge in a gelato at the Sony center, but that didn't seem to refresh my feet which were sore and swollen from being up on them all day long. But when you are in a place like Berlin, you can't afford to stop and get off your feet!  Every corner you turn, there is more history, modern and ancient architecture, the Reformation, the Wars, the aristocracy, picturesque parcs... :) 

While walking around one of my favorite dirt pathways alongside the Spree river, I spotted a children's play set behind the trees which blocked my pathway from the reality of the city.  I didn't even have to hop the fence as the gate was open to this deserted playground.  So I made myself at home and grabbed a swing.  

It was simply wonderful.  I thought back to all the hours that I spent on swings as a girl, and took a break.  As I swung higher and higher, I could see across the river to beautiful red roofs (above) and if I could look far enough down the river to the left, I could see Berlin's Dom peeking through the trees.  Wow. It is a sight to see.  So happily situated, guarded from the city noises, swinging through the air alone with my thoughts... it was quite magical actually. 

After seeing the outside of the Dom, I decided that I was definitely time to go visit.  From the outside, so many of the churches here look like big beautiful Catholic European churches.  But so many of them have white stark interior, helping you focus on the sermons instead of the sculptures and stained glass I suppose.  (If my churches were latin, I'd want some stained glass too!) But this church was just as grand inside as anything I have ever seen.  And yet it was also different from anything I'd seen.

Instead of the apostles and the Madonna towering over every corner, the reformers stand around the center dome: Friedric Weiss, Philip Grossmütig, Zwingly, Luther, Melanchthon, Calvin, Albert von Preuswen, and Joachim II.  My favorite of the characters were the relief sculptures between the reformers of great miracles-- Daniel, Paul, Stephen & Peter acting according to the word of the Lord.  I've seen so many churches of this size and grandure, but I am rarely touched in this way. The feeling in that church is very special.  As I was finally preparing myself to have to go (I usually have to drag myself out of churches), an organist started to play.  It was so glorious that I had to wait and worship in this place just a little longer. 

'I fear a cage...'

Sometimes I don't like zoos because all the animals have to be caged up. My favorite zoos are... Safaris. National parks. Well, ya, stuff like that.  But I felt very much the same in Berlin's Instrument Museum.  Looking at all these instruments was Not what they were made for.  It's like making a lot of delicious courses for a fancy dinner, and keeping them in a glass fridge so no one can eat them. yup, this first one is a stradivarius. 

I really enjoyed the museum because of the works of art worked into the instruments, and then i also simply love the history of the instruments (which I should know both the piano and violin's ancestors better than I do).  Most of the museum was made up of pianos ( well, variations on pianos to be more precise... Virginals, cemballos, harpsichords; violins (as well as a few variations there too), but there were also a few organs and harps.  I play all those instruments!  Maybe I only take notice of the instruments I play. Ya, there were a few random bassoon and flute ancestors now that I think of it....

I was strangely touched at a saying on three of the keyboard instruments: 'Soli Deo Gloria.'  (If you look carefully, I included it in one of the above pictures.) How many countless times have I consecrated my music to the Lord? I love this saying, engraved & painted on beautiful instruments.  It is so faithful, beautiful, sincere.  I might not want to paint on my Fazioli, but in my heart I will keep that dedication.  I will only make music to glorify God.

Swish and Flick

Yes, you might think I'm talking about transfiguration class.  Not so.  Conducting is way harder than transfiguration.  But the movements do have to be just as precise.  Aristotic teacher Maestro Lior Shambadal (chief conductor of the Berliner Symphoniker) had only given me a 'we already know you're a romantic' to my first comment, but Maestro Romolo Gessi (conductor of the Vienna Chamber Orchestra) gave me a 'perfetto' for my switch and flick rebound.  I live for compliments from Maestro Gessi.

You should have seen us all, about 4 women and 20 men practicing isolated 'baguette' (that is a reference to this paris adventure incase you missed that) technique, swooping our arms this way and that, balancing coins while we isolate one arm from another, and controlling the tip of our wands...

I my audition with them (yes, here! although that's just the door to the courtyard), they asked me to do several things that I had never done-- and never expected to do either. I have a lot to learn if I'm going to be on the same page as all the European conductors.  I still can't believe that they are letting me conduct with them.... I feel so far behind sometimes.

But there is much to be said for an eager student.  While walking home after 11pm, I pulled out my wand and started to practice some of the circle exercises ('on guard' to any strangers in the little alleyways!), and continued all of the exercises upon arriving at home, including waving my arms around like a crazy person on the ground.  Ya, at the end of the day, when half of us look bored and the other half dead, I'm still soaking up as much information as possible, intently staring from the conductors to my score to the students. I'm so glad that they value thirst.  Thirst for knowledge I mean.  and I most definitely get that from my parents.  Good thing they value that.  And good thing they somehow can feel your innate musicality even when I can't show it perfectly yet.

Princesse à Berlin

I was charmed at once.  Perhaps it was coming to a European city I'd never been to before.  It was definitely these slate steps leading up to the side door to my abode for the week.  May have been the bird calls everywhere.  Or simply the fact that I made it to my destination after being in many modes of transportation for a few hours.

Of course, a tall dark handsome man only slightly older than me showed me inside, and I was immediately offered 'house shoes' (in France we call them chaussons and of course they were required for all of our classrooms in the wintertime).  Charmed again.  I couldn't help but smile.  I was full of dust and grime from a full day in Brussels and much travel but I already had a bit of a tour of Berlin from the public transport and already had a glimpse of the beauty in this place.

I was led up two stories to a very, very skinny staircase which leads up to my tower.  The attic is yours, princess. I love it already.  My attic consists of two rooms and five windows, a persian rug on my floor and an antique desk armoire for me to put my things in and use as a desk.  Of course in the morning I flew open the windows and sang to the world outside (no, I'm not kidding) (and don't worry, I didn't call in any rodents) (and don't worry, I definitely stopped when I realized the father was watering the garden directly beneath me).

The best part is not my attic though.  They have a Mariah room.  I mean, they have a music room! Complete with cello, bass, flute, harp, and piano.  Of course it's a German piano with an extra octave string a centimeter above for every note that resonates sympathetically with the playing of the piano.  Although it could use a tuning & technical touch-up, it was a pleasure to practice for a few hours.  And they did make me promise that I'd play the harp before I left.  How could I not feel like royalty when served by such generous, kind, previous mission presidents, always serving kind of people who make my favorite breakfast every morning?  This is going to be a good trip.