Belonging

One of the reasons I love france so much is that so much of me grew up there--despite my American blood and nationality, I will always feel that I belong.

Real friends that are excited about my passions make me feel like I belong.

There are 134 operating temples for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (not including the temple announced for Paris, FRANCE!); and yet, when I went to work on my shift yesterday with the kindest ladies in white of the Wednesday 3B session in the Provo, Utah temple, I just felt a rush of comfort, of home, of happiness. It is there I belong.

I just signed a real contract for fall / winter semesters at a big, lovely place and feel so happy having included God in the decision-making process, having made a decision, and having come to terms with each part of the decision. I finally have a wonderful roommate, a place to live, to work out, and a ward where I can belong.

Freeing up my conducting this summer with Dr. Shapiro has given me great leave to 'create' more than ever. I finally feel that I really belong in front of a choir or orchestra.

Today might have been the first time in my life that I listened to a radio station by myself other than a classical station. It was liberating. and it wasn't bad music either. I was happy being myself and didn't change the radio station right away. I like who I am, I love my fetish with classical, modern classical, musical theatre, and jazz--but I can listen to whatever I want in the moment. My tastes are a part with me. and I belong in who I am.

The day started with biking around Hobble Creek, and ended with driving back up the canyon to the setting sun. It was behind the mountains when I got here, but the moon was just rising. I put down my things and ran outside. The moon was shining exactly upon my balcony. and the sun has kept the earth warm enough for my bare feet. I of course ran down the stairs, and around the yard, singing to my heart's content with the trees and curtsying to the stars coming out. I twirled as the breeze brushed through my hair and the wildflowers bid their goodnight. I couldn't stop smiling. I feel loved and I belong.

I best be off to the Fazioli for a Chopin nocturne tonight. yes, I belong there too.

For the Beauty of the Earth

There is a mountain on the property where I live.

The spring air could not have been more perfect this morning and I decided to take a little climb. I took up the path as far as it went and stopped for a moment, looking out over the beautiful landscape. But there's more mountain to go. So I continued to our peak and there I sat down on the rocky outcropping and started to talk with God. Yes, quite aloud. ... and some of it was sung (once I had enough breath to sing). It isn't until you get to the very top side of the mountain that you start to see wildflowers. The purple dew drops, the red fireworks, the white snowflakes and the yellow sunshines. They are a pleasant surprise wherever they pop up.

I am currently helping conduct BYU's Spring Chorale, and one of our pieces is 'For the Beauty of the Earth' (Of more like Ahv than uhv please!). I want so badly to capture the thrill and peace in nature through the music... this morning it was for the earth, the skies, the tree and flowers. (ps. I have quite a bit of catching up to do, so don't mind the order of the next few posts)

For the Beauty of the Earth, For the beauty of the skies

For the Love which from our Birth over and around us lies

Lord of All, to Thee we raise, This our Hymn of grateful praise

For the Beauty of each hour, of the day and of the night

Hill and vale and tree and flowers, sun and moon and stars of light.

Lord of All, to Thee we raise, This our Hymn of grateful praise

For the Joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child

Friends on Earth and friends Above, For all gentle thoughts and mild

Lord of All, to Thee we raise, This our Hymn of grateful praise

Why I like Walks

you become increasingly honest
you are not in a hurry
it is easier to express yourself
walking is good for you
you can hear hesitation
you can stop whenever you want
others can open up
there are no wrong turns
there are no distractions
you can be silent for a time
you don't have to face each other
it seems you can go on forever
weather is irrelevant
you get to know the person you're walking with
you are not out of breath
you can see physical reactions to what you say
decisions are made more easily
nature is beautiful

The reason for this post is a recent conversation, one of the longest of my life. Not in time, but in necessity, emotion, and subject matter. I am an advocate of communication. I love getting to know people, seeing how they think, why they are what they are, This is the forêt de Marly, next to where I grew up. Sometimes my parents would drop us off here after church and we'd walk home through the forest. I loved Sunday afternoons when we would walk for a long time through this forest, talking, playing, eating plenty of wild berries and enjoying the nature. On the mission, the forêt de fontainebleau became a similar refuge. I love forests, pathways, and I love walks.

Birds, birds, birds!

You would not IMAGINE how much noise the birds can make in my front yard.
On the north side of our secret garden, have one thorn bush and it is FULL of birds.
I try counting, and sometimes get to 100--but as they keep moving around, I am certain to be recounting.
They're not always making noise.
They must have prayer time. They are all silent for that.
During their etiquette lessons, they sing different tunes one at a time. That is the most enjoyable eavesdropping.
Music practice is quite obnoxious, the clusters they produce are quite alarming.
They should hire me.
They also have mealtime. That is their squealiest time.
Sometimes they migrate up into the taller trees around our neighbors'.
but once they see someone coming, they all swoop down into the thorn bush!
If they hear me singing and realize that it's just me in time, they just stay there.
Just walk past the secret garden sometime-- you'll see.

Stress Relievers I experienced this week

Viewing a play
Playing the violin

Momentary deafness while riding a bike
Momentary stillness in a campus crowd

A compliment, sincerely given
A text, interrupting a study

Song à haute voix in a house to myself
Song à haute voix in a room full of friends

Colorful fall leaves crunching under feet
Crimson wild flowers catching in my hand

Hearing trusted friends while in fervent prayer
Hearing a flawless, fearless performance

The south edge of campus, overlooking the lights
The south edge of mountains, stained pink at sunset

Creeping into bed while rain taps on the window
Cozing in a sweater with friends by the fire

Gospel Principles
Goals to be Better

Yosemite

Over the 4th, we went backpacking in Yosemite. The family on this trip consisted of Mom&Dad, Jane & I, Abe, and Hannah & Rebekah.  We dearly missed Adam and Peter... and the weight they could have carried.   In my opinion, the best part about it was the time we spent together and

 the beauty of being in nature.  

As expected in camping, sleeping quarters were cramped.  but after a restless night, I was not expected to wake up to a 'quick! you've gotta check out this bear!'  yes... he must have been the one walking around in the middle of the night.   As far as other animals, we saw 2 brown bears, 1 black bear, a handful of deer 

and ground squirrels and only a very few humans.  

Many of our trails crossed huge patches of burnt trees.  The only really beautiful thing about this was that the undergrowth in each of these patches was taking over splendidly.  I am so glad that God builds his ruined places and will heal all hurts, and in some cases, given two-fold.   

I loved being submerged in nature and with time to reflect and praise God.  It also gave me quality time with each 

of my siblings where I could discuss things from repentance to prayer to Lord of the Rings to controlling thought patterns.  

As we all do when out of our element, I learned several things about myself or at least was reminded of a few.  1. I love climbing on rocks.

 Abe, Hannah and I dropped 

off our bags a few times to scramble up to the top of different rock outcroppings.  2. I don't mind playing in mud and being dirty, but I love having clean hands.  3.  I love water!  ... another thing that I take for granted far too often.  Finding streams always raised the morale, and when the water supply ran short, we were all 

grumpy.

 4. A view is always worth the hike.  Nature brings so much peace.  I love being immersed in it.  

Cockles and Mussels 

In Dublin's fair city, where girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone as she wheeled her wheel barrow through streets broad and narrow, Crying Cockles and Mussels, Alive Alive Oh!

She was a fishmonger, but sure 'twas no wonder, for so were her father and mother before and they each wheeled their barrows though streets broad and narrow, crying Cockles and Mussels, Alive Alive Oh!

She died of a fever, and no one could save her, and that was the end of sweet Mollie Malone; her ghost wheeled her barrow through streets broad and narrow, crying Cockles and Mussels, Alive Alive Oh!